So I just wanted to give a quick update/prayer request. We go Wednesday, May 8th for Gideon's heart cath first thing in the morning. I found myself STRESS eating after talking with the NP about the scheduled time, the what ifs/worse case scenario, prep, and/or questions.
My mind instantly started playing every scenario out. Planning on what ifs. SO worse case scenario is.....a tear in the valve causing it to leak. This would mean in 4 to 6 weeks a full repair, aka open heart surgery.
I don't know why I start preparing for the worst....I mean I instantly went to my boss and told her that I might need additional time off. I contacted HR and asked them what would happen if worse case scenario happened. Yada yada yada.....
I can't really put into words why I do this other than it must be how I shield myself from hurt. If I'm prepared mentally what ever happens I can deal with in a more sound way because I've already played it out in my head. I'm already emotional over the whole thing. Tears form instantly with the thoughts of him being put to sleep for the routine procedure! I know there are mommas who have endured so much more than me! I'm not sure how they cope/deal with it?!
I know Rick is feeling it too. He's such a good dad....he says to me...you know I won't be eating while Gideon cannot eat (part of the prep--NPO)...when Gideon can eat I will eat. I guess he wants to share in this somehow with Gideon and I can relate....
I'm asking that you all pray for the doctor--that he will be alert and God will guide him, that you pray for our family because I know that the 2 older kids will be sensitive on this day, and mostly for Gideon. Just pray....PLEASE.
I leave you with pics of our sweet Gideon:
Cathy
My mind instantly started playing every scenario out. Planning on what ifs. SO worse case scenario is.....a tear in the valve causing it to leak. This would mean in 4 to 6 weeks a full repair, aka open heart surgery.
I don't know why I start preparing for the worst....I mean I instantly went to my boss and told her that I might need additional time off. I contacted HR and asked them what would happen if worse case scenario happened. Yada yada yada.....
I can't really put into words why I do this other than it must be how I shield myself from hurt. If I'm prepared mentally what ever happens I can deal with in a more sound way because I've already played it out in my head. I'm already emotional over the whole thing. Tears form instantly with the thoughts of him being put to sleep for the routine procedure! I know there are mommas who have endured so much more than me! I'm not sure how they cope/deal with it?!
I know Rick is feeling it too. He's such a good dad....he says to me...you know I won't be eating while Gideon cannot eat (part of the prep--NPO)...when Gideon can eat I will eat. I guess he wants to share in this somehow with Gideon and I can relate....
I'm asking that you all pray for the doctor--that he will be alert and God will guide him, that you pray for our family because I know that the 2 older kids will be sensitive on this day, and mostly for Gideon. Just pray....PLEASE.
I leave you with pics of our sweet Gideon:
1 comment:
Awe...God knew what he was doing when he placed Gideon in your care:) I'm so glad it went well xx.
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